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Life sucks anymore I have just lost a great person in my life and it was not willingly that is for damn sure. One of my real friends passed away yesterday and she was only a year or so younger then me and I’m only 21 this isn’t fair she should have lived until old age took her. R.I.P Aubrey we will all miss you and even with you gone we will still love you.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
****Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
***Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
****Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
I’ve had depression now for about 8 years and it has been really hard to deal with ‘normal’ life since I got it. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13 years old right after my grandpa passed away, ever since then it has been hard for me to stay even a little happy. They gave me anti-depressants to help me deal with it but after awhile I quit taking them because I didn’t feel ok with it, I figured out that when I listened to music I feel a little happier and I felt the same way when writing, cooking, or singing. Using what made me feel at least a little happy made it so that I could deal with things easier and I hadn’t taken any pills for it for about 7 years. I found out I was pregnant in 2010 and I was scared at first but then I accepted the fact that I was going to have a child, I had my son in 2011 and he makes me so happy which was new for me because I wasn’t used to being this happy anymore. I still didn’t need my anti-depressants after having him but then I dated someone for 8 months and all he would do was fight with his whole family and the stress from dealing with all that fighting made me really depressed again worse then what it was before. I ended up going to the doctor to get some new anti-depressants and he prescribed me a higher dosage then before because of how bad it was getting, I still am taking them to this day now. I’m now with a great guy who I have known for 5 years and who has never hurt me, he loves not only me but my son as well which makes me happy and he makes me happy too. I’m still coping with my depression because I’m always going to have it but I will keep fighting it to stay at least a little happier each day.
I’ve had a great day today, no drama it makes me so happy to say that and I got my hair cut. yay
Happy I’m heading home tomorrow with my adorable son because I am so done fighting with his biological father and all the drama that happens. Maybe when I get home I will start crafting some stuff for me and my son, it sounds like fun and I might make some stuff for my friend but I haven’t decided yet. I still love my son’s father but I won’t get back together with him because of his ex, somehow someway she always ruins our relationship and I’m not going through it again because this time it isn’t about just me it is also about my son.
It’s been hard being a single mom but it has also been rewarding. For the past almost two weeks me and my son have been staying in Burley with his real father and my ex, It was good for about the first week of being here but things changed. His dad was good with him for the first while but then he started losing his temper a little because he doesn’t know how to handle my son, really at all. He started yelling at him every time he cried and then he even spanked him for crying, that crossed the line because my son isn’t even a year old yet, I told him that he had crossed the line and then when he kind of yelled at him today I told him to stop because he is just a child and he had the nerve to tell me that he was just being stern to him. I am usually a very calm person anymore but that just made me so pissed off, I mean who in their right mind would yell at a baby or spank them for crying when they aren’t feeling well and just want attention it isn’t right at all. If you are a mother and read this and the child’s father either adoptive or biological does this then talk to them if they don’t listen and you agree with me then they aren’t worth being with same goes with you fathers out there if the mother either adoptive or biological does this then first talk to them and if they don’t listen think of what is best for your child and you.
Love you all,